Finally, I took a page from something you had said years ago. I started to build a book on each one. It has worn on me. I took to recording staff meetings with the recorder on the table in front of everyone. That slowed the problems publicly.“Anyway, I stressed. I took it home to Pam by snapping at her. We had been talking about starting a family and she brought it up. I was not pleasant in telling her that I wasn’t ready for children. I realize now that I hurt her deeply and our moving away from each other started then. It wasn’t not having children but the way I treated her about it. We didn’t talk. The next thing I knew, she was heavily involved in her quilting that she had done as far back as high school. We would have used her quilting room for a baby’s room. That was part of my diatribe. She went in there to quilt and I would watch TV. She would talk with her friends and meet with them. I would watch TV and drink. I became cold and she let me shut her out.“Your divorce made her. ’ ‘Yes, but I want you to know the answer.’ ‘I obviously preferred what you did.’ ‘What I did was to take my time, gently introducing myself to you, so you could get used to me and be comfortable with my presence. Cindy, this is what I want for us. I don’t want you to spread your legs and tell me to get it over with already. I know you feel safe with me, but I also want you to feel comfortable with me, which requires time to get to know each other and become familiar with each other. Today was a beautiful start, and I believe you are ready for us to go a bit further, but let’s take it slow and easy, so every experience we share takes our relationship to a wonderfully new dimension.’ ‘Dan, thank you for opening my eyes. All I wanted to do was to please you, but I now realize if it doesn’t work for me, it won’t work for you. If this is a taste of love, I’m hooked. We’ve done enough talking for tonight. Let’s share love, now.’ Cindy looked up lovingly into Dan’s eyes, watching them grow.
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